Ego vs. Empowerment: How to Recognize Healthy Personal Power

Unpacking the difference between self-ownership and narcissism

There’s a moment that happens for almost everyone on the path of healing.

You begin to speak more clearly.

Say no more often.

Wear something bold.

Share your work.

Ask for what you’re worth.

Take up space.

And almost immediately, a voice — internal or external — whispers:

“Careful. Don’t get too full of yourself.”

But what if the real danger isn’t being too much, but never becoming fully yourself?

Confidence Isn’t Narcissism. But We’ve Been Trained to Think It Is.

We live in a world that often rewards performance and punishes authenticity.

That glamorizes loud egos, but shames soul-led presence.

That calls confidence “narcissism”, especially in women, sensitive people, or anyone who’s been socialized to stay small.

And it’s not just the world doing this. It’s us.

We’ve internalized it.

So when we begin to stand tall, when we stop over-apologizing, when we start to glow… we second-guess ourselves.

Let’s Break It Down: Ego vs. Healthy Power

Here’s the difference in plain language:

Narcissism / Egoism vs. Healthy Personal Power

• Seeks constant validation vs. Trusts inner worth

• Needs control and dominance vs. Leads with presence and respect

• Dismisses feedback vs. Listens, reflects, adjusts

• Spirals when not seen vs. Stays grounded in self

• Uses others for significance vs. Honors mutuality and care

• Lacks empathy vs. Empathizes and self-honors

Real-Life Examples:

• A narcissist might post online for admiration, then spiral when they don’t get enough likes.
  A powerful person might post from the heart — and stay grounded whether it’s received or not.

• An ego-driven leader barks orders, hoards credit, and needs to feel above others.
  A power-led leader uplifts their team, takes responsibility, and stays humble without disappearing.

• An egoic parent controls their child’s path to reflect well on themselves.
  A sovereign parent supports their child’s unfolding with love and boundaries, without making it about them.

Why This Confusion Happens (Especially for Women & Marginalized People)

The world has a long history of calling powerful people — especially those who aren’t cis, white, male, or traditional — things like:

• “Bossy”

• “Self-absorbed”

• “Too emotional”

• “Hard to work with”

• “Intimidating”

• “Overly confident”

• “A lot”

But that’s just fear talking. Fear of change. Fear of light. Fear of sovereignty.

We confuse comfort with goodness.

We confuse passivity with humility.

We confuse shrinking with being nice.

You don’t have to play small to be good.

You don’t have to soften your voice to be kind.

You don’t have to downplay your truth to be worthy of love.

Power With, Not Power Over

Here’s the truth:

Real power doesn’t need to be loud to be strong.

It doesn’t demand attention — it radiates.

It doesn’t crush others — it creates space for them.

When you reclaim your light, you give other people permission to do the same.

That’s not narcissism. That’s leadership.

A Practice to Try

Next time you feel the urge to dim yourself — pause and ask:

Am I doing this because it’s truly aligned… or because I’m afraid of how I’ll be seen?

Let that question be your compass.

Because power that’s rooted in soul will always bring you home to yourself, not further away.